The Trap of a Torrent of Texts

Technology can bring people closer together by increasing ease of communication, eliminating costs and reducing distance between couples. As a beneficial tool, smart phones combined with inexpensive plans allow couples to be in regular contact. 

It can grow tempting to reach out for a partner at anytime without consideration of how the contact might be received. One needs to be aware of the reasons they text, the limitations of communication via text and when a line has been crossed to prevent a rise in concern of a partner.

Reasons to Text

Texting serves many purposes with friends, family, co workers and partners. The ease of texting has replaced many conventional forms of communication. The number of phone calls between individuals have dropped in favor of a quick, emoji filled text message. Let's look at some good reasons to text.

* Confirmation: A quick message to verify plans or location.
* Heads Up: When working late or held up by traffic, notifying a loved one can make them feel special and alleviate worry.
* Requests: Answering a loving offer for take out and providing the specific menu items desired.
* Loving Messages: Lovey dovey words of affection replete with kisses and hearts.

Limits of Texting

While a flexible and powerful tool, texts fall short in several areas. One needs to take these problems into account when using texts as a communication device.

No Nuance: Limitations of space and words make long conversations with emotional context difficult. Even with the addition of emojis, deeper feelings refuse to be captured via text. Greater misunderstanding can arise due to the gaps left by not being able to suss out sarcasm or a joking tone.

Response Time: Patience can be tested when chatting with someone through text. Simple things like travel, dead batteries and interruptions delay a partner from answering back. The limbo created by waiting has the emotional capacity to twist one's guts into knots.

Lacking Depth: With both of the above barriers to communication, most couples keep their text messages short and on the surface. This is an excellent use of the medium. Unfortunately, texting creates a pattern where couples avoid deeper topics even when they are not typing their responses.

Crossing the Line

Clear warning signs exist when approaching critical mass when it comes to texting a partner. Taking them into account as a group will help prevent a state where someone is seeking an escape hatch.

1. Don't start multiple chat threads.
2. Watch out that you're not only one texting.
3. Avoid bringing up topics better dealt with in face to face chats.
4. If the person does not respond, resist the urge to check to make sure they got your last text.
5. Establish healthy boundaries with all forms of communication, especially text, and stick to them.

If tempted to break these, you need to look inward to determine the cause. A deeper issue may exist causing behavior outside the norm. It is also wise to see if there is a pattern occurring across all forms of communication and with everyone.

Texting a loved one can be enjoyable and playful. Respect and attention go a long way to preventing the wrong message from being sent. Hold back and see how much richer one on one time becomes without the phone in your hand.