Spotting the Good Guys

The lament of several women centers around finding good guys and how impossible the task appears. While not the easiest process in the world, a few simple tweaks to one's outlook may bring results where mining online dating sites and locals clubs have failed. Knowing where to look, what you are looking for and your own roadblocks must come into focus before the good guys will begin surfacing.

Where to Look?

This is one of the easiest things to fix. Men are not hiding in a secret location. They are everywhere. The problem isn't finding guys. It is finding the right guys.

Look Around: Pay attention to the places you are already frequenting. If personal health is an interest, there will be men at the gym, running trails and even the yoga class. If you have a hobby or other passions, there will be a place you visit to get supplies or information. Keep your head up and make eye contact.

Situational Awareness: Being in environments with men who share similar interests is not enough. You will need to sift through to find the ones who will be right for you. Take the gym as an example. Connecting with a body builder hyper focused on free weights if you prefer someone with greater overall fitness will lead to greater frustration than not being able to find anyone. Look for the right mesh.

What Do You Want?

Knowing oneself can be a challenge to meeting the right guy. Everyone possesses things, both known and perhaps hidden, nudging them towards specific men. Like fertilizer for a garden, being aware of what you need, want and will not tolerate make finding the best guy for you much more fruitful than a scattershot approach.

* Deal Breakers: What must you have or will not tolerate in anyone?
* Deep Wants: Unlike breakers, you have to know what fills your heart drawing you to another person.
* Delightful Lures: Areas arise pulling you into deeper waters and only certain types of men will draw that from you.

What Prevents Your Openness?

When entering into a relationship, a delicate dance begins leading some to shy away from even the best guy for them. More than knowing likes or dislikes or sharing interests, one needs to address real things blocking them from a true relationship. This often proves challenging because no one likes to think they are the cause of their own pain.

Root Out Prejudices: Preconceived notions do more to short circuit relationships than true disagreements. Looking at someone and dismissing them out of hand reduces the number of guys, good and otherwise, out there being considered. Taking a chance on someone gives love a chance to blossom.

Being Real: Presenting false fronts, even to make yourself feel better, gives the wrong impression. You are meeting another person. How they act might be directly related to how you are acting. If being fake and hide what you really feel when you are with them, they likely will respond in kind. The risk of being real offers the other person the opportunity for honesty as well.

Good guys are mixed in with every other kind of guy out there. Also, a good guy for you might surprise you. You need to check in the places you already are, know what you're really looking for and having an open heart to allow love a chance to grow. Love is often hard to find. You need to help it along.