Myths About Men and Their Feelings

A great deal has been espoused about men and their feelings. One of the interesting things centers around what people, both men and women, expect counter to the underlying truth surrounding the emotional lives of men. The topic often triggers many debates. Everyone must put their preconceived notions to the side and begin afresh with the discussion about men, their feelings and how to they can express them.

Myth 1: Men Don't Have Feelings

Some classical male archetypes come across as silent, emotionless pieces of granite. This presentation in movies, books and countless other pieces of media helps perpetuate the idea of men being able to bear up under any burden without a sound. Giving the idea of a heartless man life means certain ideas can be perpetuated.

Truth: Everyone, regardless of their sex, has feelings. To assume men don't feel things is to divorce them from their humanity. If someone removed an essential part of being human from any other demographic, they would be viewed as close minded and even cruel. Keep in mind everyone feels.

Myth 2: Men Have Fewer Words Around Their Feelings

Many people note how much women are able to discuss their feelings. They provide study results about the number of words for various feelings women can access. These same people equate the lack of matching words for men to mean either they do not possess the same depth of emotion or are unable to communicate their feelings.

Truth: Language is a learned skill. Think about how children learn to speak. First, they make sounds, then form words and then sentences. All of these capture the thoughts they are having allowing them express everything from logical points to dreams to feelings. The same is true for everyone. If any part of the development process is held back because of outside pressures, those individuals will not possess the same skills as others.

Myth 3: Men Don't Like Talking About Their Emotions

Charged conversations including those dealing with emotional issues may devolve into a heated argument. In the throws of such a situation, both people may lean on emotionless logic to find purchase in the whirlwind of loud voices. Because of this retreat to a reasoned approach, it would be safe to say no one likes talking about their feelings, no matter if they are male or female.

Truth: In a safe environment, men open up about what they feel. It is important to be remember the risk of sharing feelings including a risk of judgement. Everyone needs to know they can express what they feel. This also means working through the messy emotions to the rich ones just below the surface. Talking about feelings is never a one time thing or easy to do.

Remembering not every person falls into a paradigm. Emotionally aware men capable of discussing what they are feeling fluently live in the same world as silent women scared to give voice to their deepest feelings. Speaking in gross generalities rarely encourage conversation. In fact, it is up to everyone to watch out for themselves, encourage a safe space within the relationship and draw their partner into fruitful discussions. Building and encouraging the other person can be hard, but so very much worth it.

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How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up

Breaking up is hard on everyone involved. If you're interested in hanging on to your relationship, then the best solution is to prevent the breakup in the first place. Preventative action can save you both the heartache of a breakup and the lengthy recovery and reconciliation process. More importantly, it can help prevent many damaging words and actions before they ever happen. But, how do you stop something that seems almost inevitable?

Communicate More Effectively

Guys and girls have this Mars and Venus issue when it comes to communication. John Gray, Pd.D. even wrote a book about it back during the early 1990's. The book was  on the bestseller lists for an unprecedented 121 weeks because the concept was so simple, and yet, so foreign. Sometimes, the best solutions really are the simplest.

The problem, according to this book, is that men and women communicate differently. What one person is saying (or intends to say) is not always what the other person in the relationship hears. This miscommunication often causes the perception of problems or issues in the relationship that only exists in the minds of the two people in the relationship. That's why learning to communicate effectively is so important for the sake of your sanity and your relationship.

Discover Your Love Languages

Everyone has a love language that best sums up the way the express love and the way they best FEEL loved. The love languages include:

1) Words of affirmation
2) Physical  touch
3) Quality time
4) Gifts of service
5) Receiving gifts

Taking the time to understand how you best feel and express love in comparison to how your partner best feels loved and expresses love for you can save a lot of hurt feelings, cold shoulders, disagreements, and knockdown, drag out, dish flinging arguments over the course of your relationship.

Learn to Speak Your Partner's Love Language and Accept Love from Your Partner

You see, people don't only have a little difficulty feeling loved by partners that speak different love languages. In some cases, they have a difficult time accepting love in that language. This leads to feelings of alienation, confusion, and inadequacy for partners and drives a wedge into the relationship.

Learning to accept the love your partner has to offer while also learning to show love in a manner that will make your partner feel loved and cherished are equally important components when it comes to love languages. They are just as important as being able to make your partner feel the LOVE you have.

Love languages are great, but they do take time to work with and to become effective tools for saving your relationship from impending breakup. There are other options to consider if you need more immediate results.

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