Breaking Through Being Ignored

Feeling dismissed and ignored stings deeper than almost any other feeling. One would almost rather feel the highest highs of love followed by the depths of despair of a break up than exist in the limbo of the unknown. 

What should a person do when they believe they are being ignored? Taking stock of the relationship, determining the source of the breakdown and fixing the problem will need to occur before anything will resolve for the positive or negative.

Where Things Stand

Though seemingly obvious, one needs to make sure certain things exist before taking offense. Some of the items can be established without a conversation. However, one must often have a conversation with their partner to confirm things.

* Verify the Relationship: Sometimes if you have kept things casual at the outset, everyone might not be aware of the depth of the relationship. Someone who does not know they are in a relationship cannot truly ignore the other person.

* Confirm the Expectations: Once in a relationship, it becomes critical to set a baseline for interaction. Having an understanding about frequency of contact, what forms of communication will be the norm and level of exclusivity help to create the plan moving forward.

* Avoid Being Unrealistic: Applying too much pressure might tend to push a partner away leading to very situation where the act of ignoring happens. You must take into account what you want while allowing for the needs of your partner.

Where Did Things Break Down

It can be hard to know the true cause of why relationships move in the ways they do. Some of the things blocking the course of the progression grow numerous.

* Fear: Either person can let fear stop them from moving forward or pulling back to keep themselves safe.
* Not Ready: Maybe someone is not ready to commit to a deeper level.
* Purposeless: A partner may feel like they intended to have fun without any of the regular strings attached.

Be aware, these things could arise from either side of the relationship. You could feel any of these things. Also, a feeling you are presenting might push the other person away creating the very distance you fear.

How to Fix Things

The single best way to repair the damage and get things back on track is to have the difficult conversation. Most people prefer to let things languish until they die rather than taking the necessary steps discuss their deep feelings. No one wants to hurt another person. 

Addressing fears, feelings, direction and desires means having more than single discussion. Communication proves to be the most challenging thing facing a couple because they have to be honest with themselves as well as the other person. Nothing threatens a relationship more than straight, honest talk.

In the end, growing from a mild relationship into a deeper commitment means facing hurdles like being ignored and overcoming them. One needs to put their own fears in check and become vulnerable with their partner. From a place of trust, any couple can thrive. It only takes a little time and courage. Love means being bold when the heart trembles.

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Myths About Men and Their Feelings

A great deal has been espoused about men and their feelings. One of the interesting things centers around what people, both men and women, expect counter to the underlying truth surrounding the emotional lives of men. The topic often triggers many debates. Everyone must put their preconceived notions to the side and begin afresh with the discussion about men, their feelings and how to they can express them.

Myth 1: Men Don't Have Feelings

Some classical male archetypes come across as silent, emotionless pieces of granite. This presentation in movies, books and countless other pieces of media helps perpetuate the idea of men being able to bear up under any burden without a sound. Giving the idea of a heartless man life means certain ideas can be perpetuated.

Truth: Everyone, regardless of their sex, has feelings. To assume men don't feel things is to divorce them from their humanity. If someone removed an essential part of being human from any other demographic, they would be viewed as close minded and even cruel. Keep in mind everyone feels.

Myth 2: Men Have Fewer Words Around Their Feelings

Many people note how much women are able to discuss their feelings. They provide study results about the number of words for various feelings women can access. These same people equate the lack of matching words for men to mean either they do not possess the same depth of emotion or are unable to communicate their feelings.

Truth: Language is a learned skill. Think about how children learn to speak. First, they make sounds, then form words and then sentences. All of these capture the thoughts they are having allowing them express everything from logical points to dreams to feelings. The same is true for everyone. If any part of the development process is held back because of outside pressures, those individuals will not possess the same skills as others.

Myth 3: Men Don't Like Talking About Their Emotions

Charged conversations including those dealing with emotional issues may devolve into a heated argument. In the throws of such a situation, both people may lean on emotionless logic to find purchase in the whirlwind of loud voices. Because of this retreat to a reasoned approach, it would be safe to say no one likes talking about their feelings, no matter if they are male or female.

Truth: In a safe environment, men open up about what they feel. It is important to be remember the risk of sharing feelings including a risk of judgement. Everyone needs to know they can express what they feel. This also means working through the messy emotions to the rich ones just below the surface. Talking about feelings is never a one time thing or easy to do.

Remembering not every person falls into a paradigm. Emotionally aware men capable of discussing what they are feeling fluently live in the same world as silent women scared to give voice to their deepest feelings. Speaking in gross generalities rarely encourage conversation. In fact, it is up to everyone to watch out for themselves, encourage a safe space within the relationship and draw their partner into fruitful discussions. Building and encouraging the other person can be hard, but so very much worth it.

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Spotting the Good Guys

The lament of several women centers around finding good guys and how impossible the task appears. While not the easiest process in the world, a few simple tweaks to one's outlook may bring results where mining online dating sites and locals clubs have failed. Knowing where to look, what you are looking for and your own roadblocks must come into focus before the good guys will begin surfacing.

Where to Look?

This is one of the easiest things to fix. Men are not hiding in a secret location. They are everywhere. The problem isn't finding guys. It is finding the right guys.

Look Around: Pay attention to the places you are already frequenting. If personal health is an interest, there will be men at the gym, running trails and even the yoga class. If you have a hobby or other passions, there will be a place you visit to get supplies or information. Keep your head up and make eye contact.

Situational Awareness: Being in environments with men who share similar interests is not enough. You will need to sift through to find the ones who will be right for you. Take the gym as an example. Connecting with a body builder hyper focused on free weights if you prefer someone with greater overall fitness will lead to greater frustration than not being able to find anyone. Look for the right mesh.

What Do You Want?

Knowing oneself can be a challenge to meeting the right guy. Everyone possesses things, both known and perhaps hidden, nudging them towards specific men. Like fertilizer for a garden, being aware of what you need, want and will not tolerate make finding the best guy for you much more fruitful than a scattershot approach.

* Deal Breakers: What must you have or will not tolerate in anyone?
* Deep Wants: Unlike breakers, you have to know what fills your heart drawing you to another person.
* Delightful Lures: Areas arise pulling you into deeper waters and only certain types of men will draw that from you.

What Prevents Your Openness?

When entering into a relationship, a delicate dance begins leading some to shy away from even the best guy for them. More than knowing likes or dislikes or sharing interests, one needs to address real things blocking them from a true relationship. This often proves challenging because no one likes to think they are the cause of their own pain.

Root Out Prejudices: Preconceived notions do more to short circuit relationships than true disagreements. Looking at someone and dismissing them out of hand reduces the number of guys, good and otherwise, out there being considered. Taking a chance on someone gives love a chance to blossom.

Being Real: Presenting false fronts, even to make yourself feel better, gives the wrong impression. You are meeting another person. How they act might be directly related to how you are acting. If being fake and hide what you really feel when you are with them, they likely will respond in kind. The risk of being real offers the other person the opportunity for honesty as well.

Good guys are mixed in with every other kind of guy out there. Also, a good guy for you might surprise you. You need to check in the places you already are, know what you're really looking for and having an open heart to allow love a chance to grow. Love is often hard to find. You need to help it along.

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The Trap of a Torrent of Texts

Technology can bring people closer together by increasing ease of communication, eliminating costs and reducing distance between couples. As a beneficial tool, smart phones combined with inexpensive plans allow couples to be in regular contact. 

It can grow tempting to reach out for a partner at anytime without consideration of how the contact might be received. One needs to be aware of the reasons they text, the limitations of communication via text and when a line has been crossed to prevent a rise in concern of a partner.

Reasons to Text

Texting serves many purposes with friends, family, co workers and partners. The ease of texting has replaced many conventional forms of communication. The number of phone calls between individuals have dropped in favor of a quick, emoji filled text message. Let's look at some good reasons to text.

* Confirmation: A quick message to verify plans or location.
* Heads Up: When working late or held up by traffic, notifying a loved one can make them feel special and alleviate worry.
* Requests: Answering a loving offer for take out and providing the specific menu items desired.
* Loving Messages: Lovey dovey words of affection replete with kisses and hearts.

Limits of Texting

While a flexible and powerful tool, texts fall short in several areas. One needs to take these problems into account when using texts as a communication device.

No Nuance: Limitations of space and words make long conversations with emotional context difficult. Even with the addition of emojis, deeper feelings refuse to be captured via text. Greater misunderstanding can arise due to the gaps left by not being able to suss out sarcasm or a joking tone.

Response Time: Patience can be tested when chatting with someone through text. Simple things like travel, dead batteries and interruptions delay a partner from answering back. The limbo created by waiting has the emotional capacity to twist one's guts into knots.

Lacking Depth: With both of the above barriers to communication, most couples keep their text messages short and on the surface. This is an excellent use of the medium. Unfortunately, texting creates a pattern where couples avoid deeper topics even when they are not typing their responses.

Crossing the Line

Clear warning signs exist when approaching critical mass when it comes to texting a partner. Taking them into account as a group will help prevent a state where someone is seeking an escape hatch.

1. Don't start multiple chat threads.
2. Watch out that you're not only one texting.
3. Avoid bringing up topics better dealt with in face to face chats.
4. If the person does not respond, resist the urge to check to make sure they got your last text.
5. Establish healthy boundaries with all forms of communication, especially text, and stick to them.

If tempted to break these, you need to look inward to determine the cause. A deeper issue may exist causing behavior outside the norm. It is also wise to see if there is a pattern occurring across all forms of communication and with everyone.

Texting a loved one can be enjoyable and playful. Respect and attention go a long way to preventing the wrong message from being sent. Hold back and see how much richer one on one time becomes without the phone in your hand.

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Family Holding Back on the Ex

When taking an ex back, several things need to be considered. The process can take a long time to get everything in order from one's feelings, resolution of the incident which caused the break up and a plan to reintegrate them back into your life. Following this involved course, one might be surprised by they way their family reacts. Everyone wants to believe their family will acquiesce to the wishes of the couple. Rarely does anything ever go the way one wants or believes it will, so it is best to be aware and eyes open.

Responses

Family responses to one taking back an ex can be varied. Given the wide range of how family's may react, one needs to be prepared. Let's look at a few possible responses.

* Cautious Optimism: In several situations, this could be the best response hoped for as your family is not actively rooting against your reestablished relationship.

* Luke Warm: The family neither supports nor detracts from the relationship. Unlike the optimistic group, this family proves far more likely to remind one of the troubles and downgrade some of the positive experiences.

* Active Antagonism: As the name suggests, no positives are ever brought up. More often than not, the family tends to degrade the ex by bringing up less than stellar aspects of their personality, behavior and how they tanked the initial relationship.

Reasons

As complicated as the reactions, a family's reasons for why they act the way they do when hearing about the rekindled relationship can be filled with twists and turns. Some of the reasons will have a valid base supported by logic. Other reasons will be pure speculation and suspicion. Weeding out the truth becomes critical to prevent one's family from burning the foundation from under the renewed romance.

* Protection: Family's see part of their role as watching out for those they love.
* Wisdom: As a group, families believe they are more aware of the best thing since they are not swept up with emotions.
* Experience: One or more people in the family may have tried restarting romances and view it as folly.
* Fear: They can recall the pain of the dissolution of the initial relationship and do not want to have it happen again.

Reactions

Ultimately, your reaction to the your family will bring them closer to accepting the relationship. One of the keys centers around their understanding you have considered all the things their worried about and addressed them with your ex. Granted, a clear discussion will never alleviate all their concerns. In fact, one should not try to act in such a way as to mollify them. Your family is entitled to their own feelings. Their feelings should not damage your relationship with them or hinder either your relationship with your ex.

Taking time to have conversations, both with your family and your ex, will go a long way to demonstrating how much time, effort and care has gone into restarting the relationship. It may take a while before everyone can get together and begin rebuilding their connection. Until then, you will be the link between the two reassuring them about the decisions being made and solidity of all your relationships.

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Moving Forward by Going Through

Everyone faces challenges when it comes to the dissolution of relationships. Feelings run high. Sensations of loss and instability plague even the most assured individuals. It takes more than a strong will, a blind eye or even a new relationship to help someone get to the healthy place they seek. In order to find what they need, one must push through the pain toward wholeness.

Why It Should Happen?

Think about when an injury to the body is sustained. What does it take to return to full health and perform even everyday functions without pain? If someone suffers long enough, they may not ever move, sit or even breathe without feeling as though they are being challenged by the actions. A feeling of hopelessness may creep into their lives.

Relational pain falls into the same category. Just as recovering from a broken limb, one should deal with their emotional pain and move along the path to recovery. They can only enter into a healthy relationship after addressing the fallout of the previous one. The simplest thing to do is take a slow and healthy approach to deal with all the issues and make slow progress.


Using the Mind

Some steps require using reason to catalog and note patterns. One of the strongest skills people, even those not professionally trained, have exists in recognizing patterns. This simple skill can expedite the process permitting quicker recovery.

Make a List: Start with a simple breakdown of what happened listing all the aspects of the relationship. The more complete the analysis then it will point to all the things treasured and lost within the relationship.

Look for Patterns: By using the list and the recent relationship, one should see if they can find repeat occurrences within prior relationships. This can be difficult since most people want to forget their worst attributes. For example, someone taking into account how unchecked jealous has damaged trust may find it hard to face.

Assess the Causes: More than lists and patterns, you need to see how much of these fall into areas you had a hand in manifesting. This can be hard because the temptation is to take too much or too little responsibility. Often extremes fail to affect a true changes. Also, a negative in one relationship may become a positive in another.

Now, The Heart

The mind, though great at cataloging, never fully processes things outside of a coldly clinical approach. To truly release the past relationship, one must engage the heart because it performs vital tasks. Let's look at some things the heat is well designed for.

* Grieving: Releasing pain after acknowledging the damage it has cause through the many aspects of loss happens in the heart.
* Finding: Being drawn to important things like connection and communication can be sensed through the heart.
* Treasuring: Holding onto key parts of relationship often occur in the stronghold of the heart.

The past can be a beautiful story carrying one forward in to richer relationships or an anchor dragging everyone to the bottom of a sad sad sea. Seeking health, using the mind and accessing the heart frees one from the negative bonds of the past. It takes bravery to enter this struggle and perseverance to reach the end. Be strong, be brave and stay with yourself. Only you can find the freedom you seek, so press on through and forward.

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What a Girl Wants - And Why You're the Man to Give it to Her

Relationships with women can be a bit of a mystery to the modern man. It seems that girls today say one thing and want something else. In some ways that's true. Women are constantly at war with a long history of genetic encoding where relationships are concerned and thoroughly modern ideas of what relationships should be. Somewhere in the mix, is a very mixed up girl. However, there are a few things that are almost universally wanted by women in relationships today. Do these things and she's sure to be putty in your hands.

Treat Her Like a Lady

This is one thing that needs to be done in both word and deed. Talk to her and in her presence in a manner that's befitting a lady. It might receive a few raised eyebrows at first, because it's so novel. After a while, however, it will really begin to shape your entire relationship -- especially when you follow up with treating her like a lady. There's nothing wrong with opening doors, leading on the dance floors, and even small acts of chivalry. It's a lost art that many women truly lament.  More importantly, most women want to be treated that way, they're just afraid to speak up and ask for it.

Give Her Room to Grow

Just as men don't appreciate being smothered in constant togetherness; women need a little time to pursue interests of their own. Whether it's educational, spiritual, or simply time to go out and connect with the girls, your lady needs to enjoy some space from the relationship so that she can feed the person she is as well as the partner she needs to be for you.

At the same time, it's healthy for you to pursue outside interests such as hobbies, weekly poker night, or even joining a bowling league if that's your thing. You will grow much better together if you're also both growing as individuals in the process.

Be a Partner to Share it All

Relationships are partnerships whether you're entering your first year together or your fiftieth. She needs to know that you're her partner in every aspect of the relationship. She doesn't want to feel as though you're going to run out on her when the real work gets started, dishes need to be washed, or lawns require mowing. Even if you agree on how to split the responsibilities it's important to make those decisions together, as equals.

Relationships today are much simpler than many people try to make them out. Girls are complex creatures to the average man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to say it. Give her what she wants first; so that she never needs to ask for it, and she'll have a hard time even thinking about looking elsewhere for love.

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Three Reasons It's Highly Effective To Get Your Ex Back by Going "No Contact"

Depending on how long you've been trying to get your ex back, or how many times you've tried and failed already, you've probably heard people talking about giving up the concerted efforts you've been making and going "no contact" with your ex.

At first glance that seems like a crazy plan! Right? The idea that you would be able to get your ex back by not trying to get her back sounds absolutely absurd. And yet, it works. In fact, it often works where everything else you've tried in the past has failed. Here are three reasons why.

1) Absence Does Make Hearts Fonder

There's something about not being surrounded by memories, flooded by emotions, and constantly exposed to someone that makes it easier to look past the negative associations and see the positive. Once enough time has passed, the memories of arguments, fights, disagreements, and even petty annoyances fade. All that's left are the good memories and a sense of what she really does miss about you and your relationship.

2) Time Heals Old Wounds

Even if things ended badly between you and things were said that shouldn't have been, time has an amazing way of soothing wounds and healing broken hearts. You'll be amazed by the types of wounds that can be healed when enough time is allowed to pass. Your ex can forgive the little things as well as the big things -- even cheating. But, you have to be willing to allow the right amount of time to pass to allow that to happen. And, the bigger the grievance, the longer time will need to pass before she's truly had time to heal.

3) She Can't Understand What She's Lost Until It's Truly Gone

She'll never understand what she's missing out on without you in her life if you're a constant presence in her life. It's as simple as that. She's never going to take you back if she gets all the benefits of your presence, support, love, and friendship, without being required to return those things. Take a break. Step away. Don't answer when she calls. Then, wait. Wait for her to call you. Because one day she'll realize what she's lost and be ready to call you.

There is a trick to make this work though. You have to take a hard line about it. I'm not saying you need to go out of your way to avoid her forever, though it's a good idea for a little while. You need to give her time and space. You need to wait long enough for her to start remembering the good and forgetting the bad. Most importantly, you need to give you both time to figure out what you want from the relationship and each other the second time around. Then, when the second chance arrives you need to take the time to make sure you're both on the same page about your expectations for the future.

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Six Secrets for a Long Healthy Relationship

We live in a time when people change relationships more often than they change hairstyles. Some people would call them disposable. Easy come. Easy go. But, what happens, when you think you've found the one. You know, the one they wrote epic poems about long ago. The one that makes every other relationship pale by comparison -- at least as far as your relationship experiences are concerned. How do you hold on to this special relationship while so many other couples are unable to make it work?

The key word here is work. You have to work at making relationships last. Fortunately for you, these six secrets for relationship success don't always feel like the hard work they are.

1) Communicate. You have to communicate effectively with each other. That doesn’t simply mean you have to talk to each other. You have to also understand each other and be on the same page about many things in your relationships and in the lives you build together.

2) Connect. The physical connection between couples is vital to relationship longevity. It goes beyond what takes place in the bedroom however. You really do need the connection of human touch to help solidify your bond. Cuddle together on the couch, hold hands in the theater, and hug each other as often as possible. The more you touch, in a genuine and affectionate manner, generally speaking, the happier you are together.

3) Find common ground. Every relationship needs a little common ground. These are the areas where the two of you have shared convictions. Sometimes these convictions are based on morals or religion. Other times they're related to causes or politics. Whatever your shared convictions may be, it's a wise plan to cultivate that common ground and grow together.

4) Shared interests. This is a little different than common ground. Your interests don't have to be on the same scale. However, if you both love the ocean you might find that buying a sailboat, for instance, is a great way to feed the love of sailing the open seas for one while feeding the love of water and sunshine for the other. You both love the ocean and sailing gives you an opportunity to enjoy the thing you both love together.

5) Companionship. You must spend time together if your relationship is going to work. Otherwise there really isn't a relationship to cultivate. Time is critical. Finding positive ways to spend your time together, even in troubling times, is a great way to build a stronger relationship together -- especially if you're both committed to the cause of making your relationship last.

6) Time apart. While it's important to spend time as a couple in order to cultivate and grow the relationship, it's also important to enjoy a little time outside of your partner's company. You both need friends on the side for blowing off steam, wise counsel, and a little break from the intensity of the relationship.

These six secrets may not look like all that much on a piece of paper, but over the years, they will all make a huge difference in the strength and resilience of your relationship together. Keep them in mind at all times for best results.

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Relationship Help - Money Management Communication is Key to Happy Home

Money isn't the root of all evil, but evidence suggests it is the leading cause of separations and divorces throughout the world. Even if both partners agree to the overall idea that they need to manage their money better, problems arise, when they disagree over how to manage the money or have miscommunications regarding who is or isn't going to do what with the money.

Here are a few universal truths to keep your money management plan for a happy marriage from falling apart as rapidly as your marriage.

Make Sure Both Partners have Some "Fun" Money of their Own

Invariably there is one person who makes more money than the other in the relationship. Neither partner should be investing 100 percent of earnings into the bill, family, and grocery till. Both of you need a little extra money to pursue things that are important and enjoyable to you without jeopardizing the entire family budget. In order words, you need to plan a set amount for fun money, for each of you, before you do anything else.

Don't Overlook the Children

Invariably when this happens, the responsibility of giving the kids fun money falls on one parent or the other and it almost always comes from the "fun" money fund - rendering it not so fun. Whether it's setting aside funds for allowances, school needs, clothing, entertainment, sports, etc. those expenses need to be factored into the family budget and a set amount of spending for these things needs to be determined as well.

Choose Areas of Drastic Spending Restraints Together

Both voices in the relationship need to chime in where major spending cuts are concerned. Sacrifices need to be made on all sides of the equation if you're going to set financial goals and plan for a financial future together. Otherwise, why are you working to save for the future at all? It's about togetherness and shouldn't feel as a punishment for one person while the other person is making few, if any concessions.

Put it All in Writing

Iron out the details. Write it down. Make a copy. You both must be on the same page when it comes to the new family budget and money management efforts if either of you are going to be happy with the outcome. More importantly, seeing the revised plan on paper gives you both the opportunity to see if there are any spending weaknesses, forgotten expenses, or other concerns that have been overlooked in your plan.

It seems like such a simple step, and yet, so much can be riding on working it out amiably. Don't let your relationship go down without a fight because one of you has a hard time managing money. Sit down and work on a plan that promises success.

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Reasons You Deserve Better and Why You Should Ask for it Before You Get Your Ex Back

No matter how down and out you feel about the ending of your relationship, it's important to understand that it's not completely your fault things didn't work out. No matter what your ex tries to convince you, it takes two people to make or break a relationship. It will take two people working together to put it back together again. You need to understand this and ask for things to change before you get your ex back. These are the reasons why you deserve better in the future.

You Bring Value to the Relationship Too

Everyone in a relationship has a role to play and a contribution to make. Both of you bring something special and unique to the relationship. The key is to learn to value your own contribution to the relationship and ask for the things you need that you aren't getting out of the relationship. It's also equally important that you invite your boyfriend to do the same and listen with an open mind when he does.


He'll Respect You More For It


Respect is important for men. They love being shown respect. Even more, they love it when the woman they love earns their respect. He wants to be proud of you. He also wants to be proud to be associated with you. When you stand up for yourself and ask him to show you the respect you deserve, he will be a little surprised at first, but much more likely to deliver than if you never asked.

Respect is a Two-Way Street 

It's very important to show your man respect. It's one of the most important things you can do for your man if you want to keep him happy and make your relationship last. But you also need to expect it from him. Be careful about accepting anything less than the respect you deserve from him and for going back to him if he isn't willing to give you the respect. Respect should never be given that it isn't earned and it should never be sacrificed in the name of love.

Because You're Worth It

Back in the 1980's, a prominent cosmetics company coined the phrase, "Because you're worth it." The slogan was to remind women that they deserve the very best in cosmetics and hair care items because of all the things they do at home, on the job, and in their relationships. While the slogan still circulates, the message has gotten lost in a large segment of women. You forget that you deserve respect. You're worth it. Say it with me. "You're worth it!" Now remember that whenever tempers flare and disrespectful words are uttered or deeds are done and demand better in the future - for the sake of your relationship and your sanity.

It's not enough to go back to the way things were right before your breakup. You need to do better this time around. Better begins with asking for the things you need in the relationship and expecting to get them this time around.

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How to Make Her Feel Like the Queen of Your World

Have you ever noticed that even in marriages where the couples seem to have it all -- looks, money, the perfect story -- things sometimes fall apart? It leaves a lot of mere mortals without the fairy tale budgets and picture perfect smile stand a chance. The truth is, that the regular people of the world stand as much of a chance as those with big budgets to buy their girls a little bit of everything.

Why?

Because when it comes down to it, most girls aren't proverbial material girls no matter how great of a show they put on. They may claim that diamonds are a girl's best friend. They certainly won't turn them down when offered. But, what a girl really wants is to feel like the queen of your world and not just an afterthought. These simple steps might not sound like much, but they'll make a world of different to the girl who is currently queen of your heart.

Sweat the Details

Many men follow the wrong advice when they listen to people telling them not to sweat the small stuff. Life is the small stuff. It's the small stuff that passes by, ignored and overlooked, while you're busy looking for the big statement items. Don't let her get away because you were so busy looking for something monumental to show your love that you overlooked a thousand small ways you could have told her or showed her how you feel.

Kiss her Hellos and Goodbye - No Matter What

Life gets busy sometimes. It's easy to overlook the details of what's going on at home when you have a thousand different demands firing your way at the office or you're worried about how you're going to make ends meet next month. Whatever your worries may be, you should have no worry greater in your life than greeting your girl hello and leaving her with something to remember you by throughout the day.

The perfect solution?

A kiss.

It costs little and speaks volumes.

Give her a Night Off Each Week

There's nothing the average busy wife and mother wants more than a night off each week. Come home and take over. Plan the meals. Feed the kids. Bathe the kids. Tuck them in. Draw her a bath and take over kitchen cleanup duties while she relaxes in the tub. It will feel like a little piece of paradise to her and show her just how devoted to her you really are.

Send her Silly Little Love Notes

They may seem silly to you, but these are the things she'll read a thousand times over the years. She'll wrap them in ribbons and take them out to look over whenever the road gets a little rough between you. If you continue sending them, she'll often revisit them to see how things have changed, and how much they've stayed the same between the two of you.

You don't have to spend ridiculous sums of money to show her that she really is the queen of your hearts. More importantly, these small gestures make her feel like she's the queen of your world too.

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Four Great ways to Get Your Girl's Attention

Not too long ago, there was a series of commercials, by a mobile phone provider oddly enough, about mobile phone "really?" moments. The premise of the commercial was that this new phone could get you in, out, and back to real life faster than the other phones on the market. The commercial made a great point however. We humans seem to have a hard time getting each other's attention these days. Even in loving relationships, getting your girl's attention can be, difficult. However, these four tips will get you her undivided attention if you go about them the right way.

1) Get Her Away from the Crowd

If there is constantly a group of people or an audience around, it's difficult to get through the clutter of other opinions, other advice, and other recommendations. Now is a great time to plan a weekend out of town for the two of you so that you can reconnect with one another without an audience hanging on your every word.

2) Plan an Electronic Free Weekend

This includes all electronic devices (mobile phones, tablets, laptops, televisions, video game systems, iPods, the whole shebang) if you want it to be effective. The idea is that you'll be forced to rely on each other for communication, companionship, and attention. Play games together, talk to each other, and reconnect in a way you haven't managed in quite a while. You'll be surprised by what a difference going two days without all the distractions can do for your relationship.

3) Send her Flowers - For No Reason

You better believe this will get her attention. She's definitely going to want to know what's going on, what's happened, and what you're attempting to apologize for. It will drive her mad with curiosity and have her hanging on your every word until she feels she's gotten to the bottom of things.

4) Clean the House

After she picks her jaw up off the floor or wakes up from passing out, she'll be dying to know what's going on, who's coming over, and whether or not you've become a Stepford husband. If house cleaning is something you just can't handle or she does such a great job that it never needs extra help, consider completing some other project she's been asking/nagging you to do for a while now. Just finishing it will be a gift to both of you at this point and will certainly get her attention.

You don't have to move heaven and earth to make a favorable impression with the girl you love. Little steps can make a big difference in your relationship and ensure that you have her undivided attention now and help you keep it in the future.

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Simple Truths Every Girl Needs to Know about Her Guy

Girls often have a hard time relating to the guys they love. There is a lot of truth to the 1990's Mars and Venus book series by Dr. John Gray. Men and women seem to speak and understand different languages from one another.

Girls don't understand what their guys are really saying and get their feelings hurt quite often when no negativity was implied from the guy at all. Then he's baffled that she's suddenly giving him the silent treatment and holding back tears.

Then the you know what hits the fan and it's flying dishes and fireworks everywhere.

But it doesn't HAVE to be that way. There are a few simple truths that could very well be relationship savers when girls figure them out about their men.

1) He Really Does Think about Nothing

It's true. And every girl doubts it. You ask him what he's thinking about. He says nothing. You get upset or hurt that he isn't sharing with you. You think he's hiding something from you. The truth is, he really isn't thinking about a darn thing. If anything you might be jealous that you can't harness that power yourself to see what it feels like to really think about nothing at all.

2) He Loves You Just the Way You Are

He really does. The only problem is that he never wants you to change. He'd be happiest if you'd stay the way you were the day you met forever. He wants you all flirty, happy, eager to impress, and lovey dovey. He doesn't want that to end.

3) He Doesn't Like Change

He doesn't want you to change, as we've already mention, but he also doesn't want to change himself. That's why he's so reluctant to eat healthier, start exercising, or cut out the salt. He really would be happy to have meatloaf every Monday, sit in the same recliner for fifty years, and drive the same truck until the tires fell off. It's also why he has a not to subtle panic attack (though he'll deny that until his dying day) whenever you start to make changes.

4) He has Emotional Needs Too

Women often mistake their husbands, boyfriends, etc. for people who lack emotional depth. The thing is, men have deep feelings. They don't wear their emotions on their sleeves. Those waters run very deep. He may not profess his undying love for you every day, he may never be the Hallmark man of the year, but his love for you and his family is something he feels down deep and he needs reassurance from you, that his love is returned.

Once you understand these simple truths about the guys you love, you may find a new understanding for the dynamics in your relationship. Hopefully, you'll have a new appreciation for the man you love and what really drives him in life so your relationship can be stronger than ever before.

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How to Make Up Fast Before You Break Up

Breaking up is hard on everyone involved. If you're interested in hanging on to your relationship, then the best solution is to prevent the breakup in the first place. Preventative action can save you both the heartache of a breakup and the lengthy recovery and reconciliation process. More importantly, it can help prevent many damaging words and actions before they ever happen. But, how do you stop something that seems almost inevitable?

Communicate More Effectively

Guys and girls have this Mars and Venus issue when it comes to communication. John Gray, Pd.D. even wrote a book about it back during the early 1990's. The book was  on the bestseller lists for an unprecedented 121 weeks because the concept was so simple, and yet, so foreign. Sometimes, the best solutions really are the simplest.

The problem, according to this book, is that men and women communicate differently. What one person is saying (or intends to say) is not always what the other person in the relationship hears. This miscommunication often causes the perception of problems or issues in the relationship that only exists in the minds of the two people in the relationship. That's why learning to communicate effectively is so important for the sake of your sanity and your relationship.

Discover Your Love Languages

Everyone has a love language that best sums up the way the express love and the way they best FEEL loved. The love languages include:

1) Words of affirmation
2) Physical  touch
3) Quality time
4) Gifts of service
5) Receiving gifts

Taking the time to understand how you best feel and express love in comparison to how your partner best feels loved and expresses love for you can save a lot of hurt feelings, cold shoulders, disagreements, and knockdown, drag out, dish flinging arguments over the course of your relationship.

Learn to Speak Your Partner's Love Language and Accept Love from Your Partner

You see, people don't only have a little difficulty feeling loved by partners that speak different love languages. In some cases, they have a difficult time accepting love in that language. This leads to feelings of alienation, confusion, and inadequacy for partners and drives a wedge into the relationship.

Learning to accept the love your partner has to offer while also learning to show love in a manner that will make your partner feel loved and cherished are equally important components when it comes to love languages. They are just as important as being able to make your partner feel the LOVE you have.

Love languages are great, but they do take time to work with and to become effective tools for saving your relationship from impending breakup. There are other options to consider if you need more immediate results.

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How to Deal with Seeing Your Ex Unexpectedly

You got the wind knocked out of your sails with the breakup. You had a few rough days, weeks, maybe even months. But, you finally started getting back out there in the real world.

You're hitting the town with your friends. You're working out at the gym. And you're trying like mad to at least look like you're getting on with your life - no matter how much you want her back.

You're doing good. You're looking good. Girls are starting to smile and flirt with you. You're Superman.

Then BAM!

Out of the blue, she walks into the room and it feels like you've been hit in the gut with a kryptonite fist.

Your mouth gets dry. Your palms get sweaty. Your tongue suddenly feels like it weighs a thousand pounds and you're caught between a sudden overwhelming urge to flee and a simultaneous but equally powerful urge to beg her to take you back.

What do you do?

You say something about how it's great to see her and make a hasty retreat.

It's only after you're out of her presence that you begin to think of all the things you could have, should have, or would have said if you'd been able to think clearly at the time.

Then you engage in a fantasy replay of how things would have shaken out if you'd just been able to speak. But, wouldn't it be nice if you could  think of these things ahead of time and have a good idea of what to say to her when the moment arrives?

Believe me it would! Especially if you're interested in getting her back.
Stop getting sucker punched by her presence. Take back the power and let her see you in a new light. You can control the conversation and how it plays out as long as you plan ahead for when that moment comes.

I'm not talking about arranging an "accidental" meeting. That's not the right idea in this situation. But, you do want to have a plan for what you'll say to her when your paths do cross so that you don't look like you're either avoiding her, running away from her, or angry with her for the breakup.

Time heals a lot of old wounds. You might be surprised to discover that she's probably just as nervous about the encounter as you are - even though she's the one who broke up with you.

So what should you say?

1) Keep it short.
2) Keep it light.
3) Avoid bringing up the past - leave that to her.

Keep these things in mind. Write a script for yourself. Memorize the script. Practice it in the mirror. Do whatever you have to do so that it's second nature and the next time your paths cross you'll be ready.

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Making up in the Movies - Why Doesn't it Really Work That Way?

You've seen it happen in the movies dozens, if not hundreds of time. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Boy breaks girl's heart (mean boy!). Girl breaks up with boy. Boy makes heroic effort with giant 1980's boom boxes, saying "hello," flying a jet, and countless other antics to win her heart back. The problem is, one person is writing the script for both of them in the movies. They're playing pre-defined roles and following cues. Real life doesn't quite work that way.

Lack of Originality

Unfortunately, a lot of guys haven't gotten the memo. You're still trying to use moves that have been used before. Sadly, these are moves the girls you're trying to get back together with already know about too.

Your ex doesn't want you to copy something that's been done before. If you're going to make a move to get her back, it had better, at the very least, be original. It needs to be something she hasn't seen before. It also needs to be something that you would do. It needs to appear sincere. Using movie lines as your guide makes her feel as though she isn't
important enough to you for something original.

Not Appropriate for Your Situation

Every relationship is different. Every breakup is somewhat unique. You can be having the same arguments as 10,000 other couples around the world, but there are things about the two of you and your situation that make those same arguments and situations unique.

No matter what the reason for the breakup was, your situation is different than Harry and Sally's (When Harry Met Sally), Joe and Kathleen's (You've Got Mail), Maverick and Charlie's (Top Gun), and Pat and Tiffany's (Silver Linings Playbook). You need to take the time and make the effort to come up with something unique and specific to your romantic situation. More importantly, it needs to be something that will matter to her and melt her heart.

Alternative Endings Worth Considering

That is, of course, if you're going for movie magic effects. However, you could do something else altogether. Something she may even find curious and shocking. You could let her go -- at least for a little while. Instead of going after the girl, give her a little time to think things through.

Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Then, after a little time has passed, chances are you won't need to call her. She'll call you. When that happens, you can both enjoy a happy ending that's much better than anything Hollywood could come up with because it's the story that belongs to the two of you and no one else.

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Marriage Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them

Marriage is a complex entity that rarely turns out quite the way you envisioned while making plans and picking out China patterns and wedding dresses. It was so much simpler when it was all on paper and everything matched up perfectly. Real life is never quite so neat and tidy.

Unfortunately, many couples put far more thought into planning the details of their marriage without putting a single thought into what's going to happen once the vows are made. If you're getting ready to take your walk down the aisle, keep these mistakes in mind so you can avoid them in your marriage.

Don't Tell Your Friends about Your Problems

It may seem like the thing to do. Your best friend has been by your side through thick and thin over the years. You want to turn to her as a sounding board for your marital troubles. Unfortunately, there's a big problem with that. Your friend loves YOU. The jury's still out on the man you married. 

If you're going to her to unload all the negatives, she's going to hate him on your behalf and never give him or your marriage a real chance. Over time, the strain will become problematic and you'll either cut ties with your husband (at your friend's urging) or your friend because she's just too antagonistic towards the man you love.

Don't Expect Him to Change

There's an old saying about men and women and how they view marriage. Men, according to this old saying, find the perfect woman and marry her hoping she'll never change. Women go out and find a great start and marry him hoping to change him. Unfortunately for you, men are reluctant to change and are often actually hurt by your efforts to force them to change.

If you seriously want change in the marriage or the relationship, it's best to begin by making positive changes for yourself. He'll notice those and often want to be part of it, once he decides it's a change for the better and not simply for the sake of change. But if you go in expecting him to change it's going to leave you both feeling disappointed and out of sorts.

Don't Forget to Connect with Your Husband

We nurture many connections in life. We try to build relationships with our children, with our friends, and even with our coworkers. People reach out and connect on social media networks and online message boards in their "after hours". Connections are more important now than ever before.

And yet so many people fail to reach out and make the connection with the one person who is most important to them. They believe they feel it should somehow be automatic and require no active participation in order to keep going. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have to build the bond with shared activities and experiences if you want the bond of marriage to survive the tests of time.

These are small mistakes that can really cost your marriage if you allow them to. Avoid making them and you're sure to have a healthier, happier, and more loving relationship with your husband now and in the years to come.

If you’re looking for a sure solution on how to get your ex your back or save your current relationship, I recommend you to take time to visit this LINK.

 

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The Lazy Man's Guide to Getting Your Girlfriend Back

Breaking up is especially difficult when it wasn't your plan. Men handle unexpected breakups in different ways. Some men go all in to get their girlfriends back. They jump through crazy hoops, make deals, bargain, beg, and come close to stalking in an effort to get her back.

Other men decide that maybe this is just how things were meant to be and seek greener pastures elsewhere - at least, that's what they do in time. It often takes at least a little while to mend their broken hearts and feel willing to put them back on the market again.

But there are still others who want to ride off into the sunset with the girl that got away, but have no idea how to make that happen. More importantly, they want to get her back but they don't want to have to jump through hoops to do it.

Fortunately, hoop jumping really isn't necessary to get her back. You don't even have to do the chasing. You'll probably be surprised to learn just how easy it can be to get her to come back to you.

Don't Call Her

Sounds simple enough, doesn't it? After all, it requires no action on your part. What it does require, though, is dedicated inaction. That's not so simple when every instinct you have is telling you to go after her.
 
It's the primal male drive to conquer all threats to life, limb, and overall happiness. You want to make her see the light. You want to show her how good it really is between you. You want things to be the way they were. 

Chasing the girl down might make her swoon in the movies. In real life it nets you a restraining order. Give her a little time to work through her own emotions and take a little time to really think about whether things really were all that good (for both of you) the way they were.

Make Small Changes at Home

You don't have to become a completely new man. That's way too much work. But you might make a few small changes in appearance - yes girls really do notice these things. Consider something simple to start with like teeth whitening to brighten your smile. 

While you might not be interested in a full blown gym membership, you might want to consider lifting weights at home (within reason) or playing racquetball or even pickup basketball games for a little firming and toning - maybe even skip that second beer at night or cut back from the pizza. Small changes don't require a lot of effort and can deliver really big results.

Wait for Her to Come to You

Believe it or not, the world is small. Once people start noticing the little changes you're making, and believe me they will, word will get back to her. Women are curious creatures. Not only in the sense that men have a hard time understanding them, but because they like to know what's going on.

It will drive her insane with curiosity that you're doing so well without her. She'll want to know why you're looking better, getting together with other people, and making changes for the better in your life - even little changes get big attention in today's world. 

She will call or "bump" into you just to see what's different. She'll be desperate to know what's going on. That's when it's really time to work your magic. All you need now is the right thing to say to convince her she was wrong to walk away.

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